Looser

I’ve always avoided this discussion. Look the thing is, I am gonna conceal as much as possible but will try my best to share most of it.

For me, the worst part of my life was few years back when I was in Class 11 and 12 in High School. I lost the most important part of life, Friends, the closest of friends; As I got into class 11, I chose the Science while all my closest friends went with Arts. Our class timings were totally different, so it was almost impossible to be in sync, I was all alone in school, of course I had 1-2 old friends with me in science classes but still it was a void. For 10 years, I went to that school; but from then, it became a total new place to me, I could see hundreds of boys and girls, but my “gang” was not there. You know, they say phones, social media and texting and all this nonsense was/is for connecting people but they’re just illusions!

Those laughter, jokes, teases, that closeness can never be compensated by few lines of texts or talking to a wall via calls.

I remember, one of our teacher once said, “future changes everything, when you start to move on with your life, you and your friends from school will loose touch”

I didn’t understand or maybe didn’t want to understand, but today, when I look back; I see the depth of that line. It shouldn’t have happen, but it was unavoidable.

I remember, one summer, me and my friends did a social experiment, we put a 10 rupees note on ground, and from a distance we watched, who would pick it; and if they return it or just take it. Well, most of them didn’t return, so we had to make scene to take it back. Ah! Those days!

Me and my best friend Khitish (well, he was not my best friend at that time; but he is my very good friend; and he was the only one I knew at that tuition class), used to go to this ‘private’ mathematics tuition class. Everything was going okay, well I was not good with math, so ‘okay’.

Few weeks later, one day, he didn’t show up. I thought he may have work or something, so I did the class alone, I did feel the loneliness but I managed. After tuition, I called him, he said he is not gonna come anymore, because he is going with Arts stream. I was little shocked, but at that moment, I felt ‘okay, alright’ no big deal. Next day, when I went to the tuition, it felt like a eternal void, the room felt like something I can not explain; everything changed;

It was definite, I lost every single friend. I was alone.

I lost; I lost to Society; I lost to time.