It’d be important to mention that, in this post, I’m only talking about India. But I’m quite sure that these things are kinda applicable to most parts of the world.
There’s a saying that, women are the worst enemy for women themselves. If you haven’t seen the real world, you might not believe that, but I’ve seen it, and it’s terrifying.
When a girl is unmarried, she’s someone’s daughter, she knows what it means to be the parent of a girl, everyone is asking when is the daughter getting married, why isn’t she marrying blah blah blah. Though dowry is illegal in India, unfortunately in rural areas even in a few urban areas, it’s still in practice, you’ll probably be shocked to know that know if the grooms' family doesn’t want or ask for dowry, the family of the bride will still want the groom to have some “dowry”, and somehow they may not even mention the word “dowry” instead they’ll say something like, we want our daughter to have these, or it’s for our daughter. I think it’s okay to give your daughter jewelry or something like that for their marriage because jewelry is solely for use of the bride, in our country jewelry is something must-have for women. But a motorbike? A fridge? I don’t understand these.
I know, I might sound like a radical modernist, but if you think a little, you’ll understand what I meant.
Dowry hasn’t been abolished, it just mutated to a more modern approach. We call ourselves modern but still haven’t been able to forget our cruel outdated conservatism. “Modern”, what a joke!
In our country, people have this tendency to think, love marriages are harmful to their public image in society! When someone wants to marry the person they love, our people try, and often successfully hide the fact that bride and groom know each other and they love each other. They make it look like an Arranged marriage, and almost do the same things they do for an arranged marriage, for example, dowry. Even the bride or groom objects to these practices, I guess to them these are " normal"
These middle-class families are the worst, they act and dress like rich but their ideologies are much much lower than an average poor. I am thinking what would be the correct word to define these middle-class people….. Petty bourgeoisie.
In these middle-class families, women are one step ahead. The adjectives they use to their would-be daughter-in-law are straight-up disrespectful and sometimes even vulgar. I don’t understand, how a woman who once was in that same position can be so insensitive.
I’m frustrated, frustrated about the psychopathic lunacy of our so-called modern society.
We have all these laws and rights, but at the grassroots of our society, these are just ignoble paragraphs on some piece of paper.
How we can solve these?
We cannot, not at the current stage of society. But the least we can do is make people educated, and remove this socio-economic division among genders. From childhood, we are teaching our children, men and women are two different species.
A girl and boy cannot sit together, if they are seen talking to each other, that means something is going on between them, this kind of mentality is just destabilizing the harmony between different genders.
We as a society, need to grow up!
And on a side note please, accept that we have more than two sex and or gender.